No, you are not worth it

Relationships between men and women can be so frustrating, but I’ve come to the conclusion again (but in a deeper way) that really, only God is worth it. I remind myself that only when we love God first and foremost can we truly love another in the way that they deserve:

Only God is worth my desires, my heart
Only he is worth my attention, my time
No woman is worth my heart

I’m tired of being the white knight in shining armor
I’m tired of saving damsels in distress
I have very strong armor and a sharp sword
Yet I want to be seen for who I am under the armor
I don’t want to be used for what I can give
I want to be seen, appreciated for who I am

No, under the armor I’m not perfect
I have many scars
But God sees me for who I am
He understands me, appreciates me for who I am
No I’m not worth it either, but God makes me worthy
I don’t need to be seen, but I want be
I’m tired of the fakeness, yet I have all that is real and true
No, you are not worth it, but for me, if it is meant to be, he will make you worthy

Why you are not worth it

In this world today women feel over entitled. Feminism has destroyed relationships between men and women. Some evidence of this is the MGTOW movement; for the record I don’t entirely agree with the whole movement but have a listen to RIP Traditional Relationships – A Rude awakening. If we are merely looking on a worldly secular level, it makes no sense at all to get married. Why the hell would I want to get married if it is about mutual use instead free, self-giving love?

I talk to both men and women: they say they would want to believe in a love that is real, unselfish, self-giving, loyal, faithful, total, free, in other words a divine, Godly love, but they believe it is a fantasy. I believe, in part, they think it is a fantasy because they don’t experience this kind of love -a pure love- in their daily life: none in their “family”, none in their “community”, and not even among “friends” and sometimes not even in church! It seems an indictment on how far away people and society are from God, not having that kind of self-giving, loving relationship with God, thus they don’t have it in their personal daily relationships. Mere words are not going to convince people that this kind of love exists, it seems only by personal experience and testimony that people may be convinced.

No, marriage isn’t about “what’s in it for me?” or let’s have a contract: “i do this, you do that”. Marriage isn’t about just passing on your genes nor savage “survival of the fittest”. It’s not about “disney damsels, ponies and butterflies”. It can be about mutual emotional consolation, but it can’t be the only purpose. We in this society can be so selfish. It’s not about F-ing around but giving a good F, actually caring for the world, the future generation – imagine: for love of God and for someone outside ourselves.

Why marriage and relationships are worth it

I believe in marriage for many reasons, one reason is children benefit most from marriage. Without men to be fathers and women to be mothers, children become abandoned, who feel like orphans and in some real sense are actual orphans who do not know God, thus do not have a deep, unselfish relationship with him, thus recreating the dysfunctional cycle of fake-love in all their personal relationships.

I refuse to give up: I will fight for the homeless, orphaned, and abandoned because they are worth it. Building a society based on an authentic, life-giving love it worth it because it is what God wants: to love us as we are yet push us to grow, not for his benefit, but for our own benefit. Sure, loving on this higher level of Godly love is not always easy, but who wants a cheap “love” – real men are created for real love, which can be hard, but definitely worth it. Our bodies of man and woman, with our sexual organs, show we are made to be a mutual gift – we are not God, we cannot give what we don’t have – we have to be open to receiving the love of God, to give as he does.


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a poem about stars and saints

Funny from my window before the morning sun rises, I see one star in the sky..

Like the saints, even through the darkness it shines bright

We on earth only see a glimpse of the actual reality happening to the stars right now [because the light we see now is actually lightyears away]..

From all eternity, in the heavens, isn’t there a plan unfolding for each of us? As the morning sun rises the star fades away yet by eyes of faith we know, there is a place in heaven already reserved for us [if we of course will it].. should we decide to meet the day?

Happy all Saints day 🙂

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What is time?

What is 10/28/2014, how about 28-10-2014? The earth can rotate around, orbit the sun two thousand or so times, yet is it not funny how we call this time?

If life is but a blink in eternity, whose eyes see that a billion rotations mean nothing except: the love in our hearts and the mind to inform our will that affect the actions we put forth to affect our eternal destination

So yes, borrowing from CS Lewis, and observing of my own eyes, when we involve ourselves with things eternal, this is actually when we are present in time as eternity is where the real present is.

Hopefully 2014 reminds us of the gift of Jesus because of Mary two thousand and fourteen years ago, that we may choose to be present in time, this day

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A poem from the heart

I love you yet it seems I love you not as much as I desire for you
open up me that I may be yet more open
oh Mary, eyes see not without light and the sun shines not without your son

Joy what is, what is not joy?
my peace not as you not peace
suffer me that you suffer as we suffer without we

I want to be more for you; it seems trust is a state of being more than an action except:
to surrender to what is
to be still
to risk: to love enough to enter fear to melt away fear

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On love

What tis this
Whose action speaks of liberty, beauty, joy..
Whose being cultivates trust, yields wisdom, heals hearts
By angels wings and wing’s angels
Unites with the creator, elevates all creation
From generation to loving generation
An eternal gift?

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