Time, Treasure, Talent (Revision 14)

By: enigma Date: January 25, 2015 Categories: Carreer, Emotional, Family, Fatherhood, Financial, Intellectual, Physical, Social, Spiritual

See the life manual for more context. Our time, treasure, and talent should be about giving life i.e. creating memories and building relationships with God and others.

Resources to create memories and building relationships with God and others (This is woefully scarce; I have many more resources yet to organize here; come back later for more):

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On Forgiveness (Revision 3)

By: enigma Date: August 23, 2014 Categories: Emotional, Family, Fatherhood, Intellectual, Physical, Social, Spiritual

I think this subject deserves so much more attention though I have personally found it difficult to find reliable information on forgiveness.  Of course I can find plenty of information but how do I realistically apply this in my own life and relationships? This is a first stab on how; this is a skeleton but I plan to expand and elaborate later:

3 Forms of Forgiveness (a psychological model)

1. Exoneration

Highest form of forgiveness. This requires repentance from the offender. The act of officially absolving someone from blame, sincerely acting like the incident never happened, forgetting the incident entirely.

2. Forgive but not forget

Second-best form of forgiveness. Being cautious

3. Not exoneration, not forgetting

Lowest kind of forgiveness though this might be the only available option if culprit does not acknowledge nor repent of the wrong-doing. Just getting out of the danger; nothing done for the other person, only for the offended; I don’t forgive you, but I release myself

 

How the culprit and victim can help each other

  • repentance from the culprit, exoneration/ask for acknowledgement (understand their need to be released)
  • the victim can reach out to the culprit e.g. “let me know what causes you anger and sorrow.. I am sorry for (listen to each of the points); please forgive me”

Tips:

  • someone who is injured needs some time to feel sore
  • counterfeit: “if I hurt you in any way, I am sorry” (they are not acknowledging the crime)
  • for happiness sake, at least release (3rd form of forgiveness)
  • if the offender does not acknowledge/repent, it causes pain for both parties

The spiritual dimension of Forgiveness and Mercy

So far I’ve mentioned a simple model of forgiveness [seemingly model that can be derived by natural means] though it seems many apparently simple things have a deeper, supernatural depth. In my last revision I had linked to an article that no longer exists (this is partly the reason why I often make copies of an article [with due attribution] on my site). I perceive this as a sign from God that I need to elaborate more on forgiveness, dive deeper, and actually try to practice it in my life.

The forth dimension of Forgiveness (assuming we follow a model of 3 natural kinds of forgiveness) is the kind of forgiveness Jesus teaches us. e.g.:

  • “God forgive them for they know not what they do”
  • To me it seems it can be the kind of love that loves while suffering
  • If we make good confessions often, and are given so much undeserved love and mercy, are we not compelled to have mercy on others?
  • I think it is good to reflect on Mother Teresa’s “do it anyway”:

    • People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

    • If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

    • If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

    • If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

    • What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

    • If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

    • The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

    • Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

    • In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

  • Now what are we going to do with what we know?

 

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How to make a good confession (revision 2)

By: enigma Date: July 13, 2014 Categories: Emotional, Family, Fatherhood, Intellectual, Physical, Social, Spiritual

If our eternal life depends on us being free of mortal sins, it seems very important to make good confessions. Ultimately yes, we depend on God’s mercy and rely on the power of Jesus on the cross [i.e. his love for us] and so from our hearts we must have contrition for our sins. This guide is to help us make a thorough confession as it seems there is more grace as we frequent the sacrament of confession with more fervor.  I know personally in my life going to confession often has helped me heal so much and I would like this healing for you.

The fisheaters website has a good examination of conscience [unfortunately I can’t recommend the entire site though it does has good material there], while I have made the observation the the 12 Steps [created by a Catholic priest] is a good [but not perfect] way thoroughly make a confession.  [to elaborate later in another revision]

Some points to consider for how to make a good confession:

  • There is really no good reason to not go to confession – consider how blessed we are and the benefits of confession
  • Yet at the same time are we implicitly thinking only of the benefits we can derive from confession? e.g. to go to confession just to remove our guilt?
  • Are we asking God for grace to remove all our weaknesses?
    • We should not ask God to remove all our weaknesses!
    • Sure we want grace to help us not sin, but we don’t want God to take away our crosses!
    • If we cease to struggle, that’s when we seriously have a problem; without weaknesses we would make ourselves God, but fundamentally we need God because undeniably we a broken human nature
    • We need to ask for grace to persevere (ironically it is the grace to keep struggling!)
  • Past failure has worth:
    • Don’t forget about our own sins – not in a morbid way but as a reminder of our need of God, a reminder of God’s love for us, that we may be more grateful
    • Remember: Jesus chose Peter; Peter was more lovable in God’s eyes because of his weaknesses.
    • God loves us [despite our weaknesses] because He is loving, not because He is looking at our weaknesses as some as a vengeful judge nor is He looking for us to earn His love
    • Make no mistake, Hell does exist and while God does not want us there, we have a choice, just as we have freedom to love
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